May 2009
A Royal Pain
The Middle Ages have past, the Renaissance Fairs are over, but I am still surrounded by princesses. I thought we lived in a modern democracy not a monarchy. Did I miss something during my last nap? Every young lady, I use that term politely, I meet seems to be under the assumption that she is a royal princess and expects to be treated in that manner.
In fairy tales a princess’s wish was a command and was obeyed by her loyal servants. In today’s world, the modern princess’s command is to be immediately obeyed by mom or dad, family and friends and teachers or anyone else on earth. Cost or personal sacrifices have no limits. “I don’t care how much it costs. It is what I want!”
Have you seen the princess paraphernalia in stores? Girls can dress like a princess, sleep like a princess, take a bath like a princess, eat on princess plates, spend a night in a castle like a princess – there’s probably princess TP too just haven’t see it yet? Being a princess is not just for Halloween anymore. Disney has seen to that. They have even added some extra princesses to the fairy tale line up. Do you think they sell peas for mattresses as well?
Something happened to the Sweet Sixteen party too. It once was a cultural thing, not for every family. Not anymore. Every girl deserves to have a Sweet Sixteen party. Party! Ha! It is an out and out court appearance with all of the trappings of a royal court. Doesn’t matter if family’s economic status is trades folk or millionaire – the wish list – err - demands are equal to the annual budgets of members of royal families.
Boyfriends can’t just be the cute guy from geometry. They must be a cross between prince charming and a footman, while fiancés and husbands must be prepared to cater to the whims of their princesses, before marriage and to the queen, after marriage. Not seeing much equality here – definitely closer to a dictatorship – kinda sheik like (no, sheiks are much more benevolent).
Don’t even get me started on the latest phenomenon of Bridezillas! Who takes pride in being a self-centered brat in front of thousands of people! I thought King Louise the XIV had some silly demands requiring the complete replanting of gardens during the night so he could wake up to the smell of roses or lilacs the next day. Maybe that is where these modern princesses got the idea for their wedding days.
I thought a marriage was between two people, hmmmm. Seems more like the coronation ceremony for our princess to become the queen than a joint celebration. The husband is just another decorative piece of the bridal picture. Oh, yeah. The bridal photo album . . .
Sure could do with a little more class and a little less crass.
April 2009
Marilee Williams
Maybe It’s Me?
Funny – ya give something a name or a label and it goes from concept to a state of being like the word “homeless.” Now, we have a new one, Uber Parenting. A new term for an old problem, over protective/overindulgent parents, out and out spoiling of children that has gotten worse – “worser” actually. ”Uber Parenting” is the art of hyper, over and extreme parenting your children or grand children.
Who needs lessons from adults or anyone on how to be a silly, self-centered, or overindulgent child? I thought that is what we tried to correct during the terrible twos!
I am confused, but I have not give up trying to figure out who’s the parent, the responsible adult or the child in today’s world? “What shopping cart would you like to ride in today? What would you like to eat today – you don’t like the chicken alfredo? What would you like to wear today? Yes the princess tiara and the tutu look adorable, and of course no coat dear if you don’t want to wear on – even if it’s freezing minus 25 degrees outside.”
Back in the day – good or and even not so good parents followed the guidelines of parenting given to them by their parents, and their parents and so on. Golden rules, Ten Commandments and cultural philosophies have been around for thousands of years to guide folks in their parenting. Kids have been expected to build their lives on their family values within the family income. They had to follow the rules to please all the grandparents, aunties and even the neighbors. “What will the neighbors think?”
Uber parents aren’t hard to find. You can spot one an isle away when you are in the grocery store. They’re the moms with the special shopping cart covers to protect their babies from any and all lurking germs. You can see them on the playground too, hovering over their toddlers, negotiating toy disputes for even their seven year-olds. They surface in high school too where they are busy phoning teachers to complain if their child brings home anything lower than an A.
What is the cause for this silly trend? Sociologists say it could be less children in the families. Parents can give more attention to just one or two kids. Let’s face it if you have five or six kids you don’t have time to over parent, just trying to half parent is hard enough.
There are some distinct differences between now and when we were kids. When we were growing up, the culture wasn’t so child centered. There were no “mommy and me” classes. There was no “kindermuzik.” And there was no “gymboree.” Ah ha, but a huge market share has grown up around exploiting parents’ fears that their kids aren’t developing fast enough, they aren’t happy enough, or they don’t feel loved enough. Sounds like uber marketing to me.
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