Against all known logic that a person my age should have we got  dog. She is a Labra-doodle and we named her Cleopatra because she had these long sultry black bangs when we first met her. I promptly took her home, my boyfriend bathed her and just like all my dolls when I was four, yup, I whacked those bangs back to within an inch of her eyelashes.

Having a dog brings up all kinds of things I didn’t consider.

First of all, I thought it was young couples who got dogs, you know, to try out their parenting skills. If you don’t kill the dog, your kids have half a chance. Not of normalcy, mind you, but at least of survival.  But why would a soon-to-be retired couple with neither aspirations of parenthood nor the original equipment necessary for such a task…get a dog? I am hoping I can train her to find my glasses.

Second of all…speaking of training, this has all changed as well. Given that my days are now reminiscent of having a two year old who isn’t potty trained as a sidekick, I am taking on the role of head trainer. FYI: this dog has two speeds. Full on warp speed and dead to the world.  Redirecting her energy is like trying to teach lightening where to strike. I have been reading up on training theory (when she crashes to the floor). And I duly note that dog training books have caught up with horizontal management business theory. There has to be a leader, but you can switch off. And if it’s your turn to be the leader, don’t lord it over those below you. Hello, these are dogs not interns? You don’t hit a dog, you don’t raise your voice, you don’t rub it’s nose in stuff. You act…get this…indignant. What, like, “Well, I never!” or my grandmother’s favorite, “Why the very idea!”? I am working on my raised eyebrows and saying things such as, “We are not the sort of family that poops on the living room rug.”

But, all in all, the thing I forgot about dogs is they ask for so little; an unconscious pat on the head and they follow you around like God’s chosen. They have no idea, or memory of your faults, even faults against them. Forgetting to walk them or train them or say thank you is no more than a vague mist (try that with a mother-in-law if you forget Mother’s Day). And dogs, like small children remind you to simply STOP. Plant your butt in the grass and feel the majesty of the spring winds running through the trees, swaying branches and birds flying. The joy of watching the clouds billow and stretch out  like taffy is something we should all do this Spring, dog or no dog.

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